My daughter seems to get into a lot of disagreements with her girlfriends. She has a tendency to try and change the rules when she knows she will lose or if she isn't getting her way. My daughter, as beautiful and as smart as she is, doesn't have a lot of friends. Her closest friends is a girl she hasn't seen in months since that girl quit dance class and they get into arguments every so often. Today was one of those days.
My daughter said that her friend was calling her names like loser. I told her to stop talking to her. When her friend called me to talk to my daughter she told me she called her names after my daughter started yelling when she lost the game they were playing. Being that I have seen this before from my daughter because unfortunately, she tries to cheat or will start to cry or get all butt-hurt when she loses, I had to lay down the law.
I told her and her friend that I will not under any circumstances accept any name calling, I do not care what the situation is. I also told her friend that my daughter will not try to cheat, cry, yell or any other spoiled behavior if she loses again. I also told my daughter that if she wants to keep any of her friends, she is going to have to stop cheating, lying, yelling, crying because no one likes a spoiled brat. I explained to her that she used to have two friends on the street next to us that she used to play with but because she keeps trying to change the rules, they would rather play among themselves than include her with it. It's a hard truth to swallow but at some point, she needed to hear it. Maybe it was cruel but when you find yourself without friends after making them so easily, something needs to change.
It hurts to see her so alone. It hurts especially when you know there are behaviors that maybe you let happen because she is an only child. The only way I know how to improve the situation is to nurture scenarios where she can appreciate what she is given. We will see but tonight was certainly a true wake up call to how my behavior has encouraged bad traits in her.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
A checklist! I found one!
The one thing I don't like is not being prepared. I was not sure what needed to be done and what resources were available as a military wife. I found this very useful link and I hope it may be of some use to others:
Checklist for New Military Spouses
Also, here is the link to obtain a new social security card if you decide to change your name. You'll need Adobe Reader to see it. Most banks, government agencies or place of employment won't do a name change without it.
Application for new Social Security Card
Checklist for New Military Spouses
Also, here is the link to obtain a new social security card if you decide to change your name. You'll need Adobe Reader to see it. Most banks, government agencies or place of employment won't do a name change without it.
Application for new Social Security Card
The process of becoming a Mrs...
It's Veterans Day and I could not be any more grateful for our military! My life consist because of the U.S. Navy. My dad met my mom while on deployment in the Philippines. My little girl's father was from a Navy family as well. And now I have an amazing husband who I more than likely never would have met because of the Navy! Go Blue!
Yesterday I mailed a certified copy of our marriage license to Mr. Bell so he can add me and my daughter to the DEERS system and place us on military insurance called Tri-care. Once that is done, I'll be able to go to the local military base and obtain my identification card and vehicle stickers. Not sure what else Uncle Sam will need from me but I'm sure I'll be informed.
I miss my husband but the good news is that he will be here for Christmas. Unfortunately, his parents still are not talking to him so instead of visiting them, he'll be here with us. I suppose you might think that is how it should be but he shouldn't have to feel that he's no longer welcome from his family. I do hope that they reconcile soon.
He's moving back on to the ship from the barracks in mid-December. I'm not very happy about it because his phone doesn't work except when he is on deck and where he sleeps is really cold. I want him home where he can be happy, warm and comfortable and I can touch his face when we talk. We have done very well for seven months. We only have two years to go. Seeing him every 8 weeks helps a lot. It makes time fly so much faster. It will be hard during his deployment but worth the wait to have him home permanently at the end.
Yesterday I mailed a certified copy of our marriage license to Mr. Bell so he can add me and my daughter to the DEERS system and place us on military insurance called Tri-care. Once that is done, I'll be able to go to the local military base and obtain my identification card and vehicle stickers. Not sure what else Uncle Sam will need from me but I'm sure I'll be informed.
I miss my husband but the good news is that he will be here for Christmas. Unfortunately, his parents still are not talking to him so instead of visiting them, he'll be here with us. I suppose you might think that is how it should be but he shouldn't have to feel that he's no longer welcome from his family. I do hope that they reconcile soon.
He's moving back on to the ship from the barracks in mid-December. I'm not very happy about it because his phone doesn't work except when he is on deck and where he sleeps is really cold. I want him home where he can be happy, warm and comfortable and I can touch his face when we talk. We have done very well for seven months. We only have two years to go. Seeing him every 8 weeks helps a lot. It makes time fly so much faster. It will be hard during his deployment but worth the wait to have him home permanently at the end.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Remnants of the past...
I currently live in the house I bought with my ex in 2008. We were never married and broke up almost two years after we closed escrow. I love my house but unfortunately, I know I'm going to have to sell it. My ex is currently living with his friends but eventually, he will need to get his own place to accommodate himself and our daughter. He can't do that with an active mortgage on his credit report. Unfortunately, I also am unable to get his name removed from the mortgage without resubmitting a credit application and coming up with an extra $84,000 to make up for the difference between the current mortgage amount of $245,000 and the actual value of the house of $161,000. There is no reasonable logic to pay half the value of my house to get the mortgage in my name. I'm going to stay here as long as I can but it's also very sad that I know I won't be able to stay even if I wanted to. Unfortunately, even the loan modifications out there cannot help me.
When the in-laws hate your marriage
I'm posting from the mobile. It's 3:00 in the morning so I forgive myself. I never sleep well for a while after the hubby leaves.
My parental units-in-law don't like me. Not because I'm a bitch or a gold-digger or just a dumb ditz. I'm not white, I'm older than the hubby and apparently their son has something I need despite the fact I make more and have more assets than the hubby. There isn't anything I can say to make them feel better so all we can do is wait. I just hope they don't turn their back on their son just because he found someone who makes him happy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
My parental units-in-law don't like me. Not because I'm a bitch or a gold-digger or just a dumb ditz. I'm not white, I'm older than the hubby and apparently their son has something I need despite the fact I make more and have more assets than the hubby. There isn't anything I can say to make them feel better so all we can do is wait. I just hope they don't turn their back on their son just because he found someone who makes him happy.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
A Quickie Marriage in Las Vegas
I really did not know what to do with this thing, let alone name it. I figure that will do.
After two months of talking about it, Mr. Bell and I were just married on Saturday in Last Vegas at the Little Chapel of the West. I don't like people looking at me and I am not a huge planner so the idea of a ceremony with just the two of us and the minister appealed to me greatly. Other than our immediate family, maybe less than a dozen of our friends knew we were planning on getting married. Even when you say you just want to elope, people insist on wanting to be invited and put in their two cents so the less people knew, the better in my opinion. The simple ceremony was not without some hitches though.
My darling mister left my wedding ring at home and since he took the train to the airport, he couldn't return to get it. Let's just say that I was momentarily upset.
The dear now hubby then missed his flight because he mistimed the train's arrival. He paid an extra $240 to fly down here which was annoying since the initial round trip flight was $240. BUT he made it here and that was all that matters. Thank you Alaska Airlines for your great flight deals.
Two days after he received his okay to go on leave so we can get married, my father found out he would be going into surgery the day before my soon-to-be hubby arrived in town. Since my dad is the only one who drives in his household, it became my responsibility to drive my mom back and forth to see him until my sister could drive up from San Diego. The beauty of getting married in Vegas, you can get it done quickly on any day of the week without an appointment! We ended up leaving for Vegas on Friday at 5, traffic but still on our way!
We got in to Sin City around 9 pm and checked into the Bellagio for our one night. It was really cheap rate of $191 through Priceline. The key is to constantly check rates because they change all the time. I haven't done the "name your own" price thing yet so I don't know what to say about that. They upgraded us to a Tower Room. The mini bar is ridiculously expensive so if you have grabby kids, either watch them carefully or be willing to shell out a $5.00 per item!
We drove quickly to the Clark County Marriage Bureau to get our license. When we arrived, there were two other couples there filling out forms. We paid the $60.00 plus $5.00 credit card charge and received our marriage packet, which included our license and certificate.
We attempted to find a cheap replacement ring to use during the ceremony as well as a suitable shirt for him to wear, since he forgot that too. Originally we were going to wear the traditional bridal dress and navy dress blues but I really love my jeans so we settle on nice dress shirts and blouses and jeans! We drove over to the Venetian because I love the shops there and the gondolas. We stopped by a sterling silver store near the TAO nightclub but could not find anything suitable. Mr. Bell suggested we check out DaVinci's Fine Jewelry. The prices for rings were between ridiculous and insane. After looking at my mister, wondering when he was going to stop playing with the poor sales guy, he bought me an amazing ring in the crazy price range. Definitely a wonderful surprise.
We scoured the strip for a wedding chapel but contrary to popular belief, the wedding chapels are not open 24 hours a day. We went back to the hotel and in our room, my darling got down on one knee and formally proposed. It was very romantic.
The next day we checked out and went in search for a suitable dress shirt for him to wear. After searching the Miracle Mile Mall at Planet Hollywood for three hours with no success and a stop at Cheeseburger Las Vegas, we found a Ross store and found a decent shirt for $8.00. Finally, we were on our way!
We chose the Little Chapel of the West for our Ceremony. It was the only place that appeared somewhat traditional for our non-traditional wedding. The cheapest package they offered was $199 plus an additional $60 cash for the minister. The package came with one photo on a disc. Not the greatest deal on the strip but I liked the chapel. We received the $35 military discount and bought a $22 bouquet. After 15 minutes to get dressed and waiting, we had our 10 minute ceremony. Tah-dah! We were married!
We went home and my dad was already released from the hospital. My parents were very pleased that we were now married and my friends were all pleasantly surprised that this former shunner of marriage was hitched. Our photo turned out beautiful and the chapel was quick to get our license and certificate filed. It was done within two days.
Now I am looking forward to changing my name on all my documents and getting myself and my daughter into the military benefit system. I'll be saving that for another blog.
After two months of talking about it, Mr. Bell and I were just married on Saturday in Last Vegas at the Little Chapel of the West. I don't like people looking at me and I am not a huge planner so the idea of a ceremony with just the two of us and the minister appealed to me greatly. Other than our immediate family, maybe less than a dozen of our friends knew we were planning on getting married. Even when you say you just want to elope, people insist on wanting to be invited and put in their two cents so the less people knew, the better in my opinion. The simple ceremony was not without some hitches though.
My darling mister left my wedding ring at home and since he took the train to the airport, he couldn't return to get it. Let's just say that I was momentarily upset.
The dear now hubby then missed his flight because he mistimed the train's arrival. He paid an extra $240 to fly down here which was annoying since the initial round trip flight was $240. BUT he made it here and that was all that matters. Thank you Alaska Airlines for your great flight deals.
Two days after he received his okay to go on leave so we can get married, my father found out he would be going into surgery the day before my soon-to-be hubby arrived in town. Since my dad is the only one who drives in his household, it became my responsibility to drive my mom back and forth to see him until my sister could drive up from San Diego. The beauty of getting married in Vegas, you can get it done quickly on any day of the week without an appointment! We ended up leaving for Vegas on Friday at 5, traffic but still on our way!
We got in to Sin City around 9 pm and checked into the Bellagio for our one night. It was really cheap rate of $191 through Priceline. The key is to constantly check rates because they change all the time. I haven't done the "name your own" price thing yet so I don't know what to say about that. They upgraded us to a Tower Room. The mini bar is ridiculously expensive so if you have grabby kids, either watch them carefully or be willing to shell out a $5.00 per item!
We drove quickly to the Clark County Marriage Bureau to get our license. When we arrived, there were two other couples there filling out forms. We paid the $60.00 plus $5.00 credit card charge and received our marriage packet, which included our license and certificate.
We attempted to find a cheap replacement ring to use during the ceremony as well as a suitable shirt for him to wear, since he forgot that too. Originally we were going to wear the traditional bridal dress and navy dress blues but I really love my jeans so we settle on nice dress shirts and blouses and jeans! We drove over to the Venetian because I love the shops there and the gondolas. We stopped by a sterling silver store near the TAO nightclub but could not find anything suitable. Mr. Bell suggested we check out DaVinci's Fine Jewelry. The prices for rings were between ridiculous and insane. After looking at my mister, wondering when he was going to stop playing with the poor sales guy, he bought me an amazing ring in the crazy price range. Definitely a wonderful surprise.
We scoured the strip for a wedding chapel but contrary to popular belief, the wedding chapels are not open 24 hours a day. We went back to the hotel and in our room, my darling got down on one knee and formally proposed. It was very romantic.
The next day we checked out and went in search for a suitable dress shirt for him to wear. After searching the Miracle Mile Mall at Planet Hollywood for three hours with no success and a stop at Cheeseburger Las Vegas, we found a Ross store and found a decent shirt for $8.00. Finally, we were on our way!
We chose the Little Chapel of the West for our Ceremony. It was the only place that appeared somewhat traditional for our non-traditional wedding. The cheapest package they offered was $199 plus an additional $60 cash for the minister. The package came with one photo on a disc. Not the greatest deal on the strip but I liked the chapel. We received the $35 military discount and bought a $22 bouquet. After 15 minutes to get dressed and waiting, we had our 10 minute ceremony. Tah-dah! We were married!
We went home and my dad was already released from the hospital. My parents were very pleased that we were now married and my friends were all pleasantly surprised that this former shunner of marriage was hitched. Our photo turned out beautiful and the chapel was quick to get our license and certificate filed. It was done within two days.
Now I am looking forward to changing my name on all my documents and getting myself and my daughter into the military benefit system. I'll be saving that for another blog.
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